Those Eight Letters
by GuardianDragon98
Summary: Shadow had to agree with Rouge. The song was written with guys like him in mind. Sonadow song-fic (don't like yaoi, don't read). Rated T for some mild swearing. Shadow's having a hard time expressing his feelings for a certain speedy blue hedgehog and Rouge is the best wing-woman ever.


**New Year, New Sonadow one-shot!**

**PS: The next chapter of "My Past is Not a Pretty Place" will be coming soon. I should be done writing it by this weekend.**

**Anyway, this was inspired by a Tweet from a really awesome Sonic fan I follow who draws some amazing and adorable Sonic fan art… and also knows how to find good songs for Sonic OTPs.**

**Enjoy!**

**NOTE: I OWN NONE OF THE SONIC CHARACTERS. NOR DO I OWN THE SONG "8 Letters" BY Why Don't We.**

**NOTE 2: Due to a review pointing out that I'm not allowed to copy and paste song lyrics, I've deleted the lyrics from this story. Just listen to the song while reading to get into the mood :)**

* * *

**Those Eight Letters**

"You're doing it again."

Shadow looked up from the book he'd been trying to read for the past ten minutes, his flame-colored eyes meeting Sonic's emerald-hued ones. The blue hedgehog was sitting at the edge of the couch, frowning. In Shadow's opinion, frowning didn't suit Sonic. The blue daredevil loved to smile, practically had a cheeky grin plastered on his face nearly 99% of the time. To see him frowning, well, that set off alarm bells in Shadow's head.

"Doing what?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That thing where you start moving away whenever we start talking about more… personal stuff," Sonic replied, his gloved hands gripping the upholstery. It took Shadow a second to remember where he was seated – in the armchair set up in the corner next to the bookshelf… which was on the other side of the living room with Sonic on the couch on the opposite side.

Shadow mentally kicked himself as he recalled the conversation he'd been having with the Blue Blur ten minutes earlier. They had been talking about past adventures, sharing stories of adventures they'd had with their own separate teams. He'd been intrigued by Sonic's account of the battle against Perfect Chaos in Station Square, an event that happened just a few years before Eggman had released him from stasis. And Sonic had listened patiently as he remembered his battle against Eclipse the Darkling to rid the world of the Black Arms for good.

Sonic, right after he'd finished his story, had reached out to hold his hand and he just froze. He'd seen the care, the sympathy, the total _love_ in his eyes and withdrew his hand from the blue hedgehog's in a flash. Then he'd gotten off the couch and moved to the other side of the room to read… or at least try to.

"Something on your mind, Shads?" Sonic asked, bringing the Ultimate Lifeform out of his musings. Closing his book shut, Shadow walked back to the couch and sat next to him.

"My apologies. I didn't realize I was making you uncomfortable," Shadow said, his voice quiet, unable to meet Sonic's eyes.

"I'm not uncomfortable, Shadow. I'm _worried_," Sonic sighed, his hand brushing against the black hedgehog's. His normally perky blue eyes flattened against his head when Shadow drew his hand back as if he'd been burned. "It's like you want me around and then, all of a sudden, you want me to leave…"

Alarmed, Shadow looked at Sonic. "I _do _want you around!" He couldn't stop the sudden surge of anger as he snapped at his blue counterpart. "Why are you suddenly accusing me of not wanting your company? I just went to go grab a book!"

"You've been doing this for _months_! Whether we race or spar or just hang out in each other's homes, there's always a gap forming between us in the end!" Sonic snapped back. Just as quickly as it had come, his anger was replaced with sadness. "I want to make you happy, Shadow. I want to help you heal from all the hurt you've been feeling… but I can't truly help you if you don't tell me what's bothering you. But you always push me away," he murmured, his eyes downcast.

Shadow felt his anger dissipate as he stared at Sonic, thinking back to all the times he and the Blue Blur had hung out. _'Oh Chaos, he's right…' _he thought to himself, his heart suddenly feeling heavy.

Any time he and Sonic had spent time together, right when they dropped all the aloofness and cockiness the public associated with the two of them and allowed their true emotions to come forth, he always distanced himself from Sonic in the end. Even their first date at Bloom & Brew, where he'd tried and failed to compliment the guy, had ended awkwardly with him leaving Sonic when the conversation they'd had after lunch moved on to the topic of their families.

Sonic had no trouble telling Shadow about how he and Tails met and how he spent his early years taking care of the two-tailed fox when he was just a little kit. But Shadow could barely say a word about Maria and Professor Gerald without the bad memories coming back to haunt him.

And it wasn't just on families he had a hard time with when it came to talking to Sonic. Just the very sensation of being open, and emotionally-vulnerable, with the blue hedgehog, made Shadow feel weird. While he was sure that he loved the cobalt runner, Shadow couldn't find the guts to tell it straight to Sonic's face.

And he always ended up leaving Sonic.

Chaos, he was a damn fool…

"Sonic, I…" Shadow's heart sank when Sonic held up a hand, automatically silencing him.

"No. It's… It's cool, Shads." There was resignation in the blue hedgehog's eyes as he got up from the couch. "I get it. You need more time to figure things out. I'm not going to stand in your way," he mumbled as he walked away.

'_Please don't go,' _Shadow silently begged. "I love you," he blurted out just as Sonic reached the door.

The silence that followed seemed to last an eternity.

He wished that the floor could open up and swallow him whole. He wanted to turn invisible. He wished he had Silver's time-traveling abilities so he could go back to the moment things started to go south and change things.

Because he had said those eight letters without thinking the same thing.

For Shadow, _'I love you_' deserved to be said with as much reverence as possible to the person you loved. Maria had taught him that those words were not meant to be flung at someone casually. Be it family, friend, or lover, the deceptively simple phrase had to be said while feeling the exact same emotion that made up its middle for it to be real.

And he'd gone and thrown it at Sonic out of desperation, not out of genuine affection.

Just when he thought things couldn't get any worse, Sonic gave him a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"…Okay. I'll see you later, Shads."

Shadow watched Sonic go, his heart aching. Then he looked down and saw that he was still holding onto the book. He threw it at the wall with a growl before lying down on the couch, covering his face with his hands.

He ruined it.

He ruined everything.

* * *

"You should talk to him, hun."

Rouge looked at her partner, smiling sympathetically, as she applied lipstick. "The party's going to be happening in a few hours. I got Big Blue to bring in some chili dogs early. Might as well clear things up between you two before the party's in full swing," she said to Shadow who was nervously fiddling with the cuffs of his jacket.

"We haven't talked to each other in a week," Shadow pointed out, checking his reflection in the mirror again.

Rouge opened her mouth but Shadow interrupted. "That one mission last Wednesday doesn't count," the black hedgehog said before sighing, running a hand through his red-streaked quills.

Rouge went over to Shadow and slung her arm over his shoulder. "You really are afraid, aren't you?" she asked softly.

Shadow had told her everything. The poor guy had practically poured his heart out to the bat that night on that very same day he and Sonic had argued. Rouge knew Shadow had a thing for the sweet blue hedgehog but she also knew that Shadow was, for lack of better words, emotionally-constipated. Being open with one's feelings was something Shadow still needed to work on. But she couldn't help but feel that it would be a complete waste if he and Sonic didn't try to fix whatever was forming between them.

Hence the party she decided to throw in honor of the Blue Blur's latest victory against Eggman. With so many people in Club Rouge, it would be easy for Shadow and Sonic to slip away so they could patch things up.

Of course, all of Sonic's friends would be there… And getting Amy away from him would be a challenge but Rouge already had a couple of ideas in mind.

"I can't believe I'm saying this…" Taking a deep breath, Shadow looked Rouge in the eye and nodded. "Yes. I'm afraid. What if I say something wrong and mess everything up? What if he doesn't want to be with me anymore? Rouge, what if I already pushed him away completely?" he rambled, his eyes wide with terror.

"You haven't, Shadow. Believe me, Big Blue still loves you," Rouge reassured him. "You just got to get over yourself and let yourself be free. Free to express how you feel, free to tell him all your troubles, free to just be yourself. Because you and I both know that there's nothing in this world that Big Blue won't do for the people he holds close to his heart."

Smiling a little at Rogue, Shadow adjusted his inhibitor rings so they were right above his jacket cuffs. "I'll try," he said.

"That's my boy," Rouge laughed, giving Shadow a kiss on the cheek, wiping the lipstick mark away with a handkerchief for safe measure, and sauntered away downstairs to her club.

'_You can do this. Just find an opening. Shouldn't be too hard…' _Shadow thought as he looked in the mirror. "This is your one chance to fix things between you and Sonic before it's too late. Do not fuck this up," he said to his reflection before following Rouge downstairs.

* * *

Just three hours into the party, Shadow felt like things were already starting to go downhill for three reasons.

First off, there were too many people swarming Sonic. Even he seemed a little overwhelmed at the sheer volume of fans and friends coming to pat him on the back or catch up with.

Second, Sonic's self-proclaimed "girlfriend" wouldn't let him out of her sight. Once or twice, Shadow saw Sonic look at him and mouth, _'Help me,' _before Amy pulled him away to get more chili dogs or punch or to sing karaoke.

Third, and the most frustrating reason of all, Shadow couldn't work up enough courage to actually go up to the Blue Blur and talk to him.

Every time he tried to approach Sonic, Shadow held himself back. So many things could go wrong, he surmised. The music being blasted out of the club's speakers could drown his words out and Sonic wouldn't hear anything. He might say something that could set the Blue Blur off. Amy could eavesdrop on their conversation and smash them with her hammer. Heck, Eggman could suddenly come swooping out of nowhere and throw the whole party into disarray. It was too risky!

Shoulders slumping, Shadow sat an unoccupied table in the darkest corner of the club with a red cup filled with beer. He'd just taken a few sips when Rouge arrived, her hands on her hips.

"And just what do you think you're doing here, mister?" she asked, looking like a mother ready to scold her unruly child.

"Drowning my sorrows," Shadow said sarcastically, downing the rest of his drink. The irony was that he couldn't get drunk thanks to all the Chaos Energy in his body.

"Oh no, honey. What happened to trying to patch things up between you and Tall, Blue, and Handsome?" Rouge jabbed her thumb in the direction of Sonic, who was laughing at something Tails was saying.

Shadow gave her a guilty look. Then his eyes drifted over to Sonic. He felt his heart jump into his throat when the cobalt speedster looked in his direction and their eyes met.

He could see it. The longing, the tension, the hope that they could get over what was holding them back from each other and finally be together – he could see all of those emotions in Sonic's eyes in the few seconds they held each other's gaze.

Then Amy came, hugging Sonic in a near-suffocating manner, and the spell was broken.

"I can't even talk to him, Rouge. Look around," Shadow sighed, gesturing to the crowd and the speakers blasting out music all throughout the club.

Rouge sighed. _'I guess I should have planned things better,' _she admitted to herself. Then she saw the stage that had the karaoke machine set up and a shining jewel of an idea popped into her head.

"Maybe you _don't_ have to talk to him," she told Shadow, who merely cocked his head to one side. Without another word, Rouge flew over to the karaoke machine and picked up a ring-binder then flew back to Shadow.

Looking at the binder and what it contained, Shadow suddenly felt queasy.

"Y-you want me to _sing_?!" he yelled, his voice drowned out by the music, a horrified look on his face.

"Specifically," Rouge ignored the black hedgehog's look as she flipped through the sheet protectors until she found the song. "this song right here," she said, smirking.

Shadow glared at her and opened his mouth to say no before she added, "And don't you dare say that you don't sing, hun. I've heard you sing in the shower." With a shit-eating grin on her face.

Shadow was glad for the flashing disco lights as he was certain that his face had just turned as red as Knuckles' fur. _'Great. Now Rouge knows I like musicals,' _he thought, remembering how he often sang "Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin" while he was showering. He had a feeling that Rouge was going to use this information for future blackmail.

"Why?" he asked his partner, who calmly smiled.

"If you can't talk to Sonic, you might as well belt out a few verses that hold the same sentiments that you want to tell him," Rouge said as she pointed to the song's lyrics. "And this song, I think, was written for you, hun!" she squealed.

Reading the lyrics, Shadow saw that Rouge was right. Everything he was having a hard time telling Sonic… they were all here in this song.

"Don't worry. I'll only play it when you're ready," Rouge reassured him before her sensitive ears picked up the sounds of a brawl about to begin between two gatecrashers.

As Rouge flew off, Shadow studied the lyrics until he had them memorized. Now all he had to do was sing.

* * *

After an hour, he saw Rouge head up to the stage and grab the microphone. "All right! Who wants to sing next?" she called out to the crowd.

'_It's now or never_,' Shadow raised his hand. "Me," he answered, causing the whole club to go silent.

Teleporting onto the stage, Shadow took the microphone while Rouge got off to play the song. Swallowing, Shadow gazed out at the crowd. He could already hear them whispering.

"Shadow can sing?"

"What d'you suppose he's gonna sing?"

"Probably some death metal song…"

Shadow's red eyes sought out Sonic and he found the blue hedgehog in the crowd, looking at him curiously. He realized that this would be the first time Sonic would hear him sing and he blushed.

'_No backing out now,' _Shadow thought as the music began to play. _'Maria, give me strength…'_ he prayed as he made eye contact with Sonic as he began to sing.

Everyone's jaws dropped as they heard Shadow the Hedgehog sing. The ebony hedgehog's voice was rich and melodious and even sent hearts fluttering. But for Sonic, who kept his gaze focused on Shadow, his heart was _racing._

At this verse, Shadow had to agree with Rouge. The song was written with guys like him in mind. He couldn't stop the guilt from showing on his face as he sang the next verse, looking away from Sonic for a moment, his ears flattening against his head.

Taking a deep breath, Shadow looked Sonic directly in the eye as he sang the chorus.

And then the beat drop and people started dancing to the music, the disco lights flashing. Shadow felt his heart lighten as he saw Sonic smile as he bopped his head to the music. He held out one hand as he sang the next verse.

Shadow couldn't stop the bubble of happiness forming in his chest as he saw Sonic hold one hand out with a shy smile. Blushing, he placed a hand on his chest and, finally letting himself be free, sang his heart out.

By now, the whole crowd was cheering Shadow on as he continued singing.

Shadow smiled as he and Sonic locked eyes, letting all his feelings out.

Rouge whistled as the crowd burst into applause. Shadow smiled shyly as he bowed and left the stage. He caught Rouge's eye and gave her a thumbs-up, the sly bat winking at him. Suddenly, he felt a slight tug on his arm and turned to find Sonic grinning at him.

"I gotta tell you something," the blue hedgehog told him, already guiding him out of the club.

Once they were outside, they took cover under a large tree growing in the club's small garden. It was already dark out, the stars having just come out of hiding.

"So," Sonic turned to Shadow, leaning against the tree's trunk. "when were you going to tell me you could sing, Shads?" he asked playfully.

"I used to sing with Maria back on the ARK. We liked listening to musicals," Shadow confessed, smiling shyly. Then he gently took Sonic's hands in his.

"Sonic, I'm sorry about what happened last week. I never meant to push you away or shut you out. I just…" he managed to say before Sonic put a finger to his lips.

"I think your song earlier summed up whatever it is you want to tell me, Shads." Sonic smiled, his green eyes shining. "And I want you to know that it's okay," he said softly.

Shadow smiled back, his heart feeling lighter for the first time in a week.

"So… those eight letters in that song…" Sonic leaned in close, his warm breath ghosting over Shadow's lips. "…what exactly are they?" he asked, a not-so-innocent smile on his face.

Shadow laughed softly, his right hand reaching up to cup Sonic's cheek. He reveled in the soft purr Sonic made as his thumb gently caressed his cheek, the spark of hope in his heart that he'd been harboring since he mustered up the guts to get on that stage and sing that song now a roaring inferno.

He was done being afraid. And, this time, he said those eight letters and meant every single one of them, feeling the very emotion that made them so special in his heart and his soul.

"_I love you."_

And Shadow felt like the happiest hedgehog alive when Sonic smiled and whispered, "I love you, too," and they kissed.

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**Read and review. And Happy New Year, fellow Sonadow shippers!**

**-GuardianDragon98**


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